Some Observations

Riding our bikes to school in the morning is the best. In Hoa An, we played soccer and volleyball and danced but here the only exercise we get are bike rides. It’s too hot to do much else and we are always busy. It’s great to get our blood pumping in the morning and the breeze from the bikes is refreshing. We always pass our friends that have to walk on the way and it’s comforting to run into familiar faces. We are essentially the only Western people here so it’s easy to spot us tall Americans when we are around. We arrive at the same time as the Vietnamese students. It feels good to be a part of the mob of students heading to the parking lot.

Our homestay is top notch. Our family likes us a lot and is always eager to spend time with us. They always have breakfast prepared for us and they insist on us coming home for lunch and a nap between classes. All of the food is delicious and we have a good time conversing after dinner and playing with the kids every night.

Most everyone here is exceedingly soft spoken. They speak at a level just above a whisper. The only people I have met that speak at a normal decibel range are my host parents. I assume they picked up the habit from the other students they have hosted. They only speak to us and to each other at a higher volume.Their family members get the same soft spoken treatment.

No one ever wears shoes inside and in the rural villages, half don't wear shoes outside either. One of the university students was amazed and overjoyed when he saw that I could walk on the rocks barefoot as well.

Motorcycles are parked on the sidewalks, and there are hardly any vehicles parked on the streets. The butterflies are huge and they fly pretty close to humans. It's a bit frightening sometimes as they fly at alarmingly close ranges. I have trouble differentiating between butterflies and birds at night. I have not seen one caterpillar. Lizards line most walls. Whitening agents are in almost every facial soap. The exchange rate is 21,000 VND (Vietnam Dong-pronounced dom) therefore we are all millionaires. 

My favorite elderly man exists here. He led a guest lecture on Khmer musical culture. He had the kindest eyes and a perpetually smiling, prideful facial expression. He brought an amateur band with him and they played music for us and sang intermittently during his presentation. His translator was completely dolled up in formal wear and was very funny. I am convinced that this man is a real life wizard. In addition to playing a flute with his nose, he played loud, reverberating percussion simply by rapping his fingers against each other.

Treat Yourself 10.1.13

My body feels so good. After returning super early from a sub-par field trip to a tiny decentralized water treatment plant, some friends and I decided to get massages. It was blazing during our field trip and then it start to rain, right as we left for spa. There was a beautiful lobby in which we were served sugarcane juice with lime. I was not even aware that I had built up stress until it left my body all at once upon entering the building. Soothing music played as we chose our experiences. I went for a 60 minute Vietnamese massage. We ended up staying for two hours. We took showers, went in the steam room, went in the sauna, and then waded in a small lukewarm pool. I would have been perfectly with just that but there was even more to enjoy. The massage itself did not occur in real time or space. We laid in silence, giving the professionals full license to really press and release our tensions. Some quotes as facebooked messaged to Ode immediately afterwards:

“My face literally hurts from smiling so much

What a blessed day

And it only cost me $16

I gained so much for so little

I think I could levitate if I wanted to

I think I could ignite mars fire if I wanted to

I think I could transform into Beyonce if I wanted to

I am weightless

What is a body

What is tension

What is pain

I could do anything in this moment

And yet I am perfectly content with doing nothing

My heart is bursting

So much love for anything and everything and everyone”

The bliss continued even during our afternoon debriefs and class on climate change impacts in Vietnam. Our host dad and grandma were gone so the rest of the family went to a restaurant for dinner. It was a make-your-own fresh roll place. There were only four options on the menu. The rolls consisted of rice paper, barbecued pork sausage, tiny rice noodles, lettuce, mint, chives, pineapple, lemongrass, water chestnut (white carrot), carrot, and peanut sauce. We also had fried bean spring rolls. It was by far the best meal that I have eaten so far. Laura and I are determined to come back.

Let's Get Married 9.29.13

We woke up at five thirty for the wedding and headed out to the countryside at 6 am. The wedding was held in a rural village where my host mom grew up. The rural Mekong Delta is usually inhabited by small shack-like homes with farms in the back. Although the house for the wedding was small, it was very modern, especially for the countryside. There were at least four small homes on the extended family's grounds, with farmland in between and the river behind it all. We could hear music blaring from the main road. By the time we made it to the reception area, we could no longer hear each other speak because the music was so loud. There were more than 70 people sitting and eating from large platters of food. It was 7 am. Laura and I received several stares as we were the only non-Vietnamese people in attendance. We were also the only young people in traditional garb. The two of us, our host mom and the elders dressed all the way up while everyone else wore Western clothing. The ceremony took place in a sitting room in one of the houses, right next to the already active reception. The elders, Laura, Dung, myself and 4 random cousins watched the actual wedding. Everyone else continued with the meal. Were we intruding? Probably. Our host mom wanted us front and center to take pictures. She did not seem to notice the peculiarity of our positioning. The elder women sat on one side while the elder men sat on the other. An altar was set up in the middle against the wall, adorn with candles, flowers, buddhas are ornamentation. The color scheme was red and gold. The bride looked beautiful. She had on a traditional red and gold dress as well so yes we were wearing the same color scheme and design. Oops. It was clear that the goal of her facial makeup was to make her appear as white as possible. I wonder how vigorously she applied whitening cream in the months prior. The photo-shopped pictures hanging around the reception featured a whitened bride as well. She was very stoic and hardly smiled. Both she and the groom seemed as though they were just going through the motions of the ceremony for traditions sake. They did not seem to be enjoying themselves. The ceremony was not too long. There were several rituals of bowing, drinking from a communal cup of something, probably tea, that the elders had also sipped from, the fathers lighting candles on the altar, and more. There was an MC, not a religious figure although it was a Buddhist wedding. At one point, the groom placed jewelry on the bride: several bracelets, a necklace, earrings, a headband, and finally a ring. The bride reciprocated with a ring only. There was no kiss or jumping of a broom to signify the end. It was just over all of a sudden. We went out into the reception where the others were miraculously still working on their food. We received endless courses, each with a different meat featured. There was pork with salt, pepper, and lime, beef ragu, an entire chicken, noodles, bread, rice, spring rolls, fruit, etc. It was 8 am. We had a lengthy photo shoot after with the bride and groom although we were never introduced to them and they did not talk to us. I did some karaoke after. There were not any American songs so I sang acapella. I started with Monica’s Angel of Mine, then L.O.V.E. from The Parent Trap. They asked me to sing a song I could dance to and put the Vietnamese instrumentals back on. I was not interested in making up words to a random beat so I did some simple two-steps instead. Some old guy came up and danced with me, followed by a group of middle-aged women. Everyone was cheering, they seemed pretty excited to have me up there, so excited that they did not let me sit down for a while. I finally convinced them to let me sit and the women led me to their table, directly in front of the speakers. They kept yelling at me in Vietnamese. Even if I spoke the language I could not have responded because it was so loud. A younger guy came up and tried to translate by yelling directly into my ear. My ear drum began to vibrate. I decided to move. On our way to the back of the reception, we were offered tiny shots of “wine” by a group of young adults. We yelled the toast: “Mot Hai Ba Yo” (1, 2, 3 bottoms up) and discovered that it was rice liquor -_- and then reverted back to drinking 7UP. We went into our mom’s house, which was the separate from the reception. The music was at a more reasonable level here. We encountered two honks, Binh Minh and Binh Anh, ages 2 and 3. We found out that they usually live in the guest house back in Can Tho but had been in the countryside to help with the wedding. They were also planning on moving to Virginia, where their father worked once they got their visas back. We played with them until around 11 and then we headed back home. I was glad to leave because one of the older guys seemed to think I was interested in him. He had tried to dance with me earlier then he thought the kid’s suitcases were mine. He picked them up and tried to lead me to his house which was on the way to our driver’s car. He led me way in front of everyone else and every time I stopped to wait for them to catch up, he pushed me forward. Right before I’d made it to the car, he stopped in front of a hammock and gestured for me to sit there. I went to the car instead. He was still staring at me as we drove off. Gross. We arrived at home around high noon and had lunch. Then we went to Co-op Mart, a store similar to a Super Target, to get bread and more sauce and noodles for Italian night. We had not planned for the extended family to be there as well. Laura and I had a swell time cooking dinner. We didn’t have a regular oven so we used the chicken rotisserie oven to bake the vegetable casserole. We dipped the eggplant in egg then layered eggplant, spaghetti sauce, parmesan, shredded cheese, corn bread crumbs and zucchini in a pan. It just fit into the oven. We made garlic bread with melted butter and chopped garlic. The spaghetti was pre-seasoned, as you can’t buy basil or oregano here. We added salt, pepper, beef and corn. Dinner was so very good. Grandma was especially excited about the garlic bread. Binh Anh loved the noodles. She spent the entire meal trying to pick them up with chopsticks. The vegetable casserole was a hit too. From now on if I make spaghetti I’m going to stick to a baked vegetable sauce. It goes great on the noodles. After dinner, Laura and I decided to meet up with most of the other students at Karaoke Queen. Neither of us was particularly in the mood for karaoke but after two days, we missed our friends immensely and couldn’t bear to spend one more night without them. I’m so glad that we went. Brittany’s host dad owned the place and it was a classy joint. I knew it was going to be a good night when I saw that we had VIP room 4444. Basically everyone was there, including some random friends of someone’s host sister. Perhaps the greatest performance was the Spice Girls “Wannabe.” Brittany, Leah and I headed that show. We spent the night singing and debriefing each other about our weekends. There was so much love around the room. Time flew by then we had to hustle home before the guard dogs were let out.

Mom, Motorbike, Metro, Etc.

Ai prepared pho, a traditional Vietnamese noodle soup for breakfast. It was good but Laura and I ate around the meat. Soon after, our host mom, Dung (pronounced yong) arrived. Our host mom is incredible. She is a professor of fish pathology at the University of Can Tho. We talked to her for a while about who she is and what she does and she had plenty of questions for us as well. She expected us to cook for her and told us that her daughter loves Italian food. We decided to make spaghetti for dinner the next day. This required a trip to the grocery store. On the way there, I road on the back of Ai's motorcycle while Laura followed on a bike. Motorcycles have always frightened me and I wasn't too excited about riding one. I ended up having a great time. It wasn't as dangerous as riding in the states because no one exceeds 35 mph, typically riding between 20&25 mph. Also, most of the vehicles are motorbikes. I could see so much of the city on the motorbike and the breeze felt so good in the heat. We stopped at a couple small street markets to pick up a few things. Each market sold only a couple types of fruit or fish and at each market, Ai would ask if they had what he wanted. About half of the time they didn't so we just had to move on to the next storefront. The large grocery store we visited was called Metro. It's a warehouse type store similar to Cosco. "Say You Say Me" was playing when we walked through the doors. Lol. The music here is always very epic, sappy soundtrack music. We also heard "My Heart Will Go On" while shopping. Laura and I decided to make spaghetti with beef and corn, an eggplant, zucchini, corn Parmesan casserole and garlic bread. We wanted ground turkey instead of beef and a side of spinach but apparently you can't them in Vietnam. This time, I rode the bike and good Lord was that rough. Traffic in Vietnam is characterized by defense driving. There are stoplights at large intersections, but even so, motorbikes are driving in all directions at the same time. Changing lanes is immensely scary because everyone goes when they want to and you have to constantly watch traffic and respond accordingly. Being on a bike, I was not as fast as the motorcycles and I didn't have indicator lights-hand signals are not a thing here. I missed my first left turn because when I turned to see if the coast was clear, there were dozens of motorcycles coming to zoom past me. I later adopted a policy of not looking back when changing lanes. They will move, you just have to go for it. Ai turned back around to lead me again after I missed our turn, then he pulled over to show us dog meat being sold at a market. I didn't make it over once again due to the whole changing lanes thing. This time, Laura told me the key is to follow Ai super closely and don't look back. I did as she said and made it back home alright. Once I surrendered to the system it was pretty fun. We got home and Dung asked us to make soy milk with her. She had brought back a more complicated version of a magic bullet from Hanoi. The instructions were in English so

Laura and I were tasked with figuring out how it worked. We didn't do a very good job. The machine worked for a while then we burned it out and had to stop for two hours. There was a Vietnamese smoothie cookbook included with the machine. It had recipes for "wake up berry" and "good feeling health" smoothies and other funny drinks. Each recipe came with a description like "this smoothie has vitamins K, E and A. It will boost your confidence and ensure a good day." Very uplifting. Our host parents invited some of their students over for dinner. We spent hours cooking ban xeo-Vietnamese pancakes. It was the same meal that we had back in Hoa An. The girls didn't talk to us much as they didn't know English. However, there was a Thai phD student who was very lively and didn't speak Vietnamese. She kept calling grandma "Ama" and she always repeated verbs (ie: "cooking cooking"). Sometime that day, I asked if Laura and I should buy new outfits for the wedding. Our mom offered us some of her clothes instead. She brought them up after dinner. I was a given a beautiful red and gold dress/pants set. She said her clothes fit us because she wore them when she was pregnant. Lol. We wore the dresses downstairs for the students to see. They absolutely loved it. This was the first time they really payed attention to us. They kept commenting on how the dresses fit us better than they fit them because we have butts to fill in the shape of the dress. They could not get over it. We took a bunch of pictures and then Laura and I went to bed in preparation for the long day ahead. 

I Live In A Compound

Started from the bottom now I'm here. But Actually. I wasn't expecting anything spectacular from my homestay and yet our first hours have been spectacular in every way. My host dad is a short man who introduced himself to my roommate, Laura, and I while wearing a motorbike helmet and a golf shirt.We followed after him in a taxi and shortly arrived at an alley full of homes. We got out of the taxi with our bags and our host dad put Laura's giant suitcase on the back of his motorbike and we followed him down the alley. We stopped in front of a huge gate that blocking the view of the house. The gates opened to reveal a massive house/mansion/structure and a backyard of considerable size as well. The backyard is full of tall bamboo and palm trees, a pond, four fish tanks, a rooster, 3 guard dogs, 4 small dogs, several motorbikes, a few regular bikes, at least two guest homes, an outdoor table made out of slabs of rock, and the river directly behind everything. Dang. I still haven't been to all of the rooms inside the house so it's unclear how big it really is. There is a kangaroo fur from Australia on the wall and a thermostat pinned to a deer leg from Holland in the living room. There is also an Australian water filter. He says there is too much zinc and iron in the Mekong Delta water so he filters everything. This means that it is safe for us to drink as well, we hope. It's hard to know which food warnings to take seriously because we have been breaking half of the rules since we got here. Oops. There is also a hammock, which seems to be staple item here in Vietnam. Some cafes only have hammocks, no chairs. Eventually we learned that there are also 4 hamsters, more fish and at least 10 people living here. Every time we asked, our host dad mentioned more and more family members who share his home. He introduced us to his daughter, nephew and mother. His daughter is very quiet and shy. She watches Disney channel in English with Vietnamese subtitles. We found out that the Vietnamese count your birth as your first birthday. Therefore our host dad insisted his daughter was 14 while she indignantly insisted that she was 15. His nephew is kind of jumpy and addicted to video games. His mother is incredible. At the age of 85, she is less than five feet tall. She greeted us saying "Bonjour." As a young adult she studied in France and still remembers a bit of the language so we have had some communication in French. No English. She loves my hair and doesn't understand how it is how it is. She isn't the first person to express the same sentiments and touch my twists with wonder. Her hair is thinning and she is shriveled and very skinny. It seems as though she's lost a weight and now has an excess of skin. However, she is fully functional and doesn't seem to be sick or anything. She does everything with a kind smile, cooking, eating, cleaning, and playing with her favorite dog, Jerry the chihuahua. She walks without help and is extremely flexible. To be real, all of the elderly women we have met have been very active, fit, flexible, healthy and mobile. It must be the fact that they keep moving and working throughout life. They all eat with at least one foot off of the floor to stay flexible. This is true for the older women and everyone in the rural village, however I don't see the flexibility of the younger generation who live in the city. There was a man inside the house who helped us with our luggage and set up our room. There was also a woman who followed us from our hotel to the house and helped to cook. They weren't introduced and still haven't said one word to us. We assumed that they were the help for the longest time until we asked for clarification. They are actually more family members. They may not have been introduced to us because they are related on our host mom's side of the family. Either way it was weird. Our host mom is not here yet. She is coming home tomorrow from a business meeting in Hanoi. I'm excited for her to come because she is taking Laura and I to her niece's wedding on Sunday!!! We're so excited and can't believe we got placed with such an awesome family. We wanted to take the long drive to the each this weekend but a wedding is a much better option. Laura and I share a room on the second floor. We have a spiral staircase outside our door that leads straight to the entrance gates. Convenient. There is also a wrap around deck with a view of the river and the backyard. In the evening we could see the guard dogs that get let out at 10 pm. We will not be breaking curfew. They were barking something fierce during the night and I do not want to be the subject of their aggression. Our host dad is learning English. He does very well but needs help with pronunciation. He is very clearly the head of the house. Right when we got outside he got our schedule together and told us we had one hour to shower while he went to the market to get dinner supplies. Once he got back we helped cook. We made beef with carrots, potatoes, tomatoes, vermicelli noodles, and coconut water sauce. Delicious. We also had shrimp chips with salt, pepper and lime. So good. He had us taste boiled turtle eggs. That was sad. Aren't most turtles endangered? Apparently it is customary to have beer with dinner. He worked his way up from orange juice to wine to beer when asking us what we were allowed to drink. Every time we raised our glass he raised his and said either cheers or yo (bottoms up). His nephew, who ate quickly and returned to his PSP (Personal PlayStation) only had half a glass of Heineken because he says a full glass will knock him unconscious. Lol. After dinner we left everything on the table because a cleaning lady will come early in the morning to take care of it. Our host dad has family in France, Canada, San Jose, and Ohio but he has never been out West. He teaches geography at Can Tho University and was proud to know that Washington-Laura's home-was in the Northwest, Rhode Island is in the East and Obama is from Kenya. He remembered a whole lot from the letters we sent to our homestay families. He used these facts as starting points for conversation. He was especially interested in our pets. He says his mom lost 6 of her 9 siblings in the war and huge amount of Vietnamese people moved to America after the war. That is why his family is so spread out. Our evening was great and it felt so nice to finally feel settled again. I am looking forward to getting a massage tomorrow, meeting my host mom and hopefully going shopping for a wedding outfit.

Transitional Limbo

The next 36 hours were an exhausted blur. We left Hoa An in the morning and headed for a hotel in Can Tho City. We stayed in the hotel for one night and then moved in with our host families the next day. The Asia Hotel was beautiful.Unfortunately, my roommate, Laura, was sick so I spent my free time walking around Can Tho. Suddenly being in a loud city full of motorbikes and noise was a jarring change from the quiet forest life I had become accustomed for the previous four days. The classy hotel was the polar opposite of our shared dorm/mosquito infested bathroom situation. We also had our first class sessions in Vietnam at Can Tho University.

We went to the floating market at 5:30 am and saw boat life at it's finest. The market services those who want to stay on their boats while replenishing their stock. It is also for tourists who want condensed milk with super concentrated coffee or fresh fruit. Our boat guide gave us some very interesting info about Vietnamese culture and she even sang "You Don't Know You're Beautiful" by One Direction. We learned that women get married at 18 or 23 depending on whether they go to college. Every one in university must take an army class in their first year and wear a green jumpsuit uniform for the course. If you fail a certain entrance exam for college, you are forced to enter the army. The homes on the river are halfway on solid ground, halfway above the water. Fish boats have water in the bottom so that they can deliver and sell the fish live. A bamboo stick on each boat has one of each item the boat has to sell. If the boat is for sell, coconut leaves are tied to the stick. The market is from 5 am to 2 pm everyday.

That afternoon, we waited around for our host families. I was feeling extremely nervous/anxious/tired/displaced. All of my worries turned out to be unnecessary as my host family turned out to be incredible.

Nine. Two. Five. One. Three. ~ K'Day

I had one of the best birthdays of my life this year and I shared it with another student, Matt, who was turning 21 on the same day. It started off with a field trip to an organic farm. We loaded up on a small bus, practically sitting on top of each other with a few University students with us as well. They sang Happy Birthday to Matt and I on the bus and shortly after, we arrived at the river. We boarded wooden boats that sit low on the water. Mine had several leaks but we did not sink. The boat ride was very short. We arrived at the home and farm of a middle aged couple. We spent the morning harvesting morning glory and washing leafy greens. It didn't take long for most of us to go barefoot. The soil felt so good on our toes. Then we had a big, delicious lunch of tofu, chicken, rice, watermelon, and more. We headed back to the farm and prepared compost by layering soil with hay. There were huge grubs and beetles in the soil. Next we took completed compost and planted new beds of morning glory. My favorite part was playing with our feet in the mud. Also, my friend gave me a much needed birthday massage. We all wanted to stay for the entire day but that was all the work the woman had for us. The boat ride on the way back was even sketchier than the first. We were noticeably sinking and one of the guys was trying to stop the water from flooding in the boat first with his oar and then with his foot. While we were waiting for the groups behind us, we saw a man ride past with a crocodile head tied to a cooler on the back of his bike. One of the students from the university went and bought the head for us. We used it to scare the next groups. We walked back to the college but Meron, Lauren and I stopped to get a coconut first. Kalu, who had the best English of the university students, came with us. We also got freshly pressed sugarcane juice/water. It is actually the best thing that I. It was our last night at the College of Rural Development so we had a farewell/birthday feast with a lot of the university students. The meal was delicious of course and they even had a birthday cake for Matt and I. It was a white cake with chocolate and strawberry sauce and fruit on top. I just realized that I forgot to make a wish when I blew out the candles. Oh well. We had a talent show that evening. I performed a shortened version of "Cheetah Sisters" with 7 of my friends. I also performed a shortened combo of Wolosodon and Somonodon (West African dance) to a random song I had found on spotify five minutes before. The Vietnamese students performed the chicken dance again and "Gangnam Style" and one of the students did an engaging magic trick, making a red napkin disappear. Once again, Matt and I were sung too, however this time it was in Vietnamese. The university students presented us both with lucky coin talismans and a bracelet. I was overwhelmed by their kindness, especially since I hadn't even met the student who presented it to me. We had an after-party that lasted until a little after 12. It was a great night, but also bittersweet as I had already become attached to our home there.